Gimme some fist bitches~

I went to offering for prayer to my late friend at my secondary school and surprisingly enough my male friends shake my hands, usually men shake hand with other man and just shove a wave with female friends. Hell, even my male junior being nice to me rather than the females.

As I sit with my female friends, I kindda feel out of place, it been a while since I socialize with my female friends and I forgot how to utter young female language (I have two brother and they don't think I'm a girl)

I reflected back, my friends and I always be 'dude' with my male friends, bro fist, bromance, talking about NSFW (that makes them misunderstand that I'm a lesbian or bi, when I say I'm not they almost hit a tree; he was driving, so yeah) I relate to what men usually interested, even tough I don't know much of it, but its good to hear. I feel more comfortable with the male species more than my bitches!

In my life, I always find it hard to talk to a girl; because they talk too much, they have cliche, subtle talking. If I say something bad it going to be a black spot for first impression, girls usually never forget and forgive. When they hold grudge, they hold to their grave and haunts people! Hell I learn that female are species that are hard to understand!

Well, I'm a girl too but I live with two brothers who tackle me down, make me a training puppet with an excuse to learn self-defense. I remember I drank my brother favourite drink and he fold my body like a contortionist and sit on my overfold body, there's more but it's too violent to share, C'est la vie~

I like meeting new people but I rather not meet with someone who not open the different idea of feminine and masculine, I have few friends who shocked to my behavior that act more manly than their boyfriends and the dudes, its either they accept it or reject the whole idea. Thankfully the dudes are open with my manly behavior (just one of few reason I will never have any boyfriend unless they are gay and fully known that I have female body). Some of the girls still trying to accept but I'm okay with that, I learn how to adapt to different people and situation, even to awkward situation....damn, I just hate awkwardness!

Thankfully I meet people I could totally relate without any awkward, most of my closed friends accept my unorthodox behavior, little judgmental is good sometimes, just a little~

It's hard you know....

Few days ago a friend of mine died, we haven't spoke since we went to MOE for scholarship issues. We still connected through facebook and saw his pictures he took in Kent, I'm glad that he was having fun there, live his life and enjoy halloween with make-up on his face. Whenever we talk on facebook there always hint of NSFW jokes, good time.

His sister told me he will be back home soon, I was excited and hoping to catch up on him soon or just stumble on each other whenever fate want us to meet.

The news of his death took hard on me, I was shock and stunned that I believe this was a fucking mistake or a dream that I'm having or some prank he up to. However it is the fact that was left in his home was his lifeless body. I was afraid to attend his funeral because I will slap his cold face and shake his body thinking he was still joking, if he want to see me cry and beg for him, he will have them! I don't care, just open your eyes and laugh at me!

After that I didn't feeling well (I'm not sick or facially sad, deep down I was a bit broken), my parent didn't saw how down I was for couple of days. I treasure my friendship and friends even if just for few minutes, even the friendship break by time, seeing them live their life is enough for me.

What I regret before he died was that I didn't have the chance say 'Welcome back'

So I say it now 'Welcome back, Qim...and here is a piece of drawing that you wanted to see and I want to show it off to you'

I will never grow up

I may look like a total grown up and age that hit so called awesome 21 but I'm still in hand of overly protected worried parent.

when I was 16, I never hanging out with my friends only limit to school, I accept the fate despite most of friends were all hanging out and leaving was acceptable, they understand it and I have to sit at home dong nothing but to socialize with my family and I don't have a cousin or anyone as close to my age to talk to during weekend. That was probably why I cherished my school life more than be at home.

when I entered Uni, finally my parent release me and I was wild out to wonder with friends and my brother who are more than nothing to do but to take me out for movie or just filling their boring time. The only problem I had was I need to return home every week with no exception, I can drive but my parent reluctant to let me drive solo. Once I returned home, I have limited permission to hang out with my friends, its understandable, being the youngest and the only daughter was really hard life. I slip this one through =_="

Recently, my parent allow me to drive solo to Tutong which was a big step for me since I was only allowed to drive with escort in my village and from UBD. It was great experince and thank God I didn't hit anyone or anything. when I returned home, my father was a bit worried that I could drive on my own because he said I will go out often, like what~ dad, I'm 21! I thought you're the one who insist to mom to let me drive on my own! Even mum is heavenly sleeping while I drive alone to Tutong.

Then there's a time I want to buy a table, my former table was demolished completely (because it was rotten by termites and I 'm just helping speeding it up). Since I spent most of my time at my dorm I figured that a small table is just fine for me

it was bit like this but more simpler

Then, I have no place to put my other electronic stuff and I have tons of gadget and I need to put my precious printer in a proper place, so I decided to look for a simple decent table like these:

I mean I don't mind if I have this table! as long I could put my laptop and printer in a proper place!

Then when we went to the furniture retailer, my dad was persisting to buy a very big table! It cost 4 times the money I withdraw to but a simple table, he said he will pay it for me as long as the table was his own choice, I was reluctant at first because it was fucking big and I have a small fucking room but both my parent insist and I have to let them pay a gigantic table for me. I thanked them but I feel my adulthood somehow slowly rotted....I dunno maybe I'm just an asshole

This the real pic of my table

Forever be my parent little kid

Too much of streotyping could kill you

This is for someone I know.....

Another bullshit rant; few years ago, but not too far back, that will make me very old, people know me for being the emo/goth/weird/freaky kid. I admit that I was not that extrovert back then and keeping handful of friends so that I won't be in 'lone wolf' status all the time.
But my classmates were cool and didn't think that difference didn't break us apart, it make us one helluva wrecking badass class.

Anyway, I have this particular friend that I feel offended and not someone that I want to talk to, actually its more like whenever I talk to her my IQ drop dead. Say, I name this person as 'plastic bitch'. This person was all nice and kind to everyone, which is a good thing because I was a terrible jerk back then and maybe still now. This 'plastic bitch' and I were not really a close friend of mine, rather a classmate that happened to be in the same sort of group. Although 'plastic bitch' was really happy-go-lucky, this person has say something that I really really feel dump. I was holding a picture of my classmate that was slightly photoshop and the conversation goes like this:

Me: haha, damn, she looks like that girl, um..... who that new artist that sing (some song that I forgot the title but it was a pop genre song)
Plastic bitch: you mean a goth singer or something?
Me: *poker face*

Honestly I don't know any goth singer or band back then, except Evanescene, I was am into all rock band. Fyi, I also listen to pop music.

So yeah, I'm sorry that I'm not 'goth' enough for you to streotype me. Probably you spent way too much with people of your league that you somehow forgot 'goth' people also listen to different song genres.

Maybe the person is too ignorant or dumb or not in full shilling, I don't know and I rather not care anymore and thank God that I don't have to be with this plastic bitch anymore

I'm not saying names or pointing fingers, if you feel offended by this then go screw youself. If you are the 'plastic bitch' and read this rant then I'm glad that we are no longer connected, so please don't try to leave message (this is not a request.....This is a fucking order)

Anime Review: Blue exorcist

First, let me be in my fan girl mode first......RIIIIIINNNNNN!!!!! <3


It been a while since I watch some good anime that didn't involve these

-girls with spoiled attitude and sexual object
-male character who supposed to be the main character are useless
-too many boobs or fan service
-too cliche
-blah blah blah yada yada

for example: Esther from Trinity Blood

"oh, I'm so innocent and fragile, why is everybody love me? why he never want me? oh my I hurt, help me please~"

okay, I don't like her! But the anime was good!

I saw plenty of Blue exorcist fanart around DeviantART and I decided to open my heart for some anime and it was pretty good!

The element presence in the anime really suited to my weirdassfetish of brotherhood, fatherhood, sanctity, paranormal and twin brother. As always my favourite character have to die, ALWAYS!

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

*spoiler*

Anyway, the anime is about a teenage boy name Rin who live in a monastery with his family. Rin, the main protagonist of the story is kind-hearted boy with some attitude and people didn't like him because of his unearthly power and ability. Only the worker, his father and brother understand and love him. Little that he know that he actually have demonic blood flowing through his veins and a human body. His 'REAL' father come to earth and wanted to take him but he refuse because he wanted to protect human (good kid) and now he become a full demon and become exorcist.

Introducing Rin, the main character

In the first episode, there is some sensation of Western aura that might involve in the anime despite the main character attend regular Japanese middle school and struggling with his future after he finished his middle school. He was raised in a monestry and have a twin brother who is more smarter than him but love him as much.

Yukio, the main character younger twin brother

So here you got some loving family with lovely neighbourhood, a brat who is really good at heart but find it hard to make people like him.

Ah.....Harmony...

and then bang! Demons come and wanted to take Rin to Hell

just another good day turn bad in anime world

...somewhere in my heart I knew his father have to die, every movie or drama must have a "stresser" to make it interesting no?

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Too bad, I like his father, he remind me of Father Anderson of Hellsing

Hell yeah! Not your average Reverend

or maybe because of the glasses :9

I like pious old men who know how to kick some demon ass =D

The brotherhood is very interesting, its not your average twin brother from Ouran High School Host Club Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin or some brotherhood of long battle trying to kill each other like Itatchi and Sasuke or Cain and Abel

(all hail brotherhood!)

(Hikaru and Kaoru)

umm...it's bromance....

 umm....still a bromance....

OMG, INCEST! 

Okay, it just a fanart.....don't get me wrong I love incest but they only exist in fantasy, just fantasy! I can't bare myself if it exist in real human form! It just wrong! No way!

Itatchi and Sasuke was first like....

and then they were all like....

and Itatchi was...

....in the end they were all...

EMO

If you know the Bible story of Abel and Cain, Trinity Blood have the story more or less the same, there is no love between them, just two twin brother try to kill each other

Although Rin and Yukio have strong bonding, Rin didn't want to get his brother involved in his conflict as both have different personality and status in their school. There are some friction between them but they managed to solve it anyway, in the end Rin and Yukio just have some silly issues between brothers but they are protecting each other.

You know what like brothers are like~

Rin and Yukio shared the same room in their dorm so it's easier for Yukio to check on his demon brother

Some argument on Yukio position as exorcist but Rin didn't know it up until their father death

Rin: I’ll eat it!

Yukio: Nii-san, are you all right?

Rin: Granny is calling me…

Yukio: What?! We never even met her! Wait, don’t you dare follow her!

Maybe, brotherhood turn me on, I dunno, I just like brotherhood~

wait, too early? XD

......and I really like their relationship with their father, he love his two son unconditionally and treat them with love (in his way)

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Overall this anime is great, the main character have the promising charisma and personality that will make the anime interesting. The chemestry between characters are also dynamic and make me wanted to watch the episode more. The story itself is entertaining, all and all its worth to watch for whole season and I hope they could make another season and continue to be this great

I gave it 3/5

P/S: it's only air 6 episodes, so I want to see the development of this anime =)


Okay, I'm in my fan girl mood over these series because its been a while since I watch a good anime =D

Top 10 Myths about Introverts

Found this on Tumblr and reblogged them here since most of Tumblr user tend to use small fonts, I managed to dig down the sources.

So yeah, this stuff is so hard to ignore and I really love to share it around.

Source: carlkingcreative

Top 10 Myths about Introverts

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

I study better with the presence of human than monkeys and ghost, you?

eat someone!

Some people expect too much from us, especially when I lived in a society that expect more than just regular ABC and 123, heck I lived in an environment that entertainments are fucking social illness. My teenhood was among trouble anti-social teen case and partly due that nobody seems to care about my interest.

In my Universities, I never realize how I felt like prison until I went to New Zealand and there I stay at Queen’s street for 4 days. Luckily we were very close to a University there and foreigners are common to the local. Not exactly that I really want to focus on, what I like about it was that the University was really close to hustle bustle of the crowd, there was cinema, restaurant, bookshops, hotels, grocery stores, hell, there’s even a hall for concert! Everything was within walking distance! What really great about the university was that the area was not entirely prison of all study and no fun; there are some other thing that makes you enjoy, live, life, rejoice the University life. I mean, if we just meant to study everyday without entertainment then we are nothing but a computer that save data and all that. Here, it was hard enough to arrive at nearby shop without car and the closest entertainments I get in my campus compound are my laptop, my broadband and my drawings.

Taken from my old blog in 365, yeah, Queen Street is a cool town

So yeah, I feel betrayed when my lecture told me that, uni-life was wonderful and awesome. Well, I enjoyed that few months after my brain chained with assignments. I mean, was entertainments something to grab with too much effort? It cheap but took a lot of fucking effort to enjoy it. If I didn't went home every week I might as well turn myself upside down, walking on top of the roof or even date with some monkey in the campus.

That just another problem why the quantity of cars keep increasing in Brunei (apart from cheap price), not everything come within walking distance and some shops are really close to main road that well, makes you vulnerable and embarrassed to walk with. I myself didn't drive car to UBD and if I did I went out relieving my stress like nobody business and think about gas money later. It is stressful enough that once you step out of the campuses building you see; well, another lecture buildings.

Some may say that what if the students in campus will go ahead party instead of studying, for the love of God, uni students are adults who are old enough to think and make choice; we know when to enjoy life and when to study hard and work our ass for assignments. Probably there is also some may argued that not all people agreed that some students couldn't work better in hustle bustle condition of the city or town. Well of course certain compound of our uni is quite enough that only the sound of wind and monkey swinging around from trees to trees can reach (yes, my RC and library).

I’m not just talking about for the sake of stress relieve, I’m also wanted to point out that while not all student in our uni have cars to mobilize around and have to sacrifice “water face” to ask for friends help, it also convenient enough for the admin to let another grocery shop to be establish within the compound for the sake of the RC residents.

My mother told me that in their hostel, they have this small shop for the residents to buy food, kitchen utensils and even stationeries! And the awesome part is they are not even uni students! Why? Oh why we don’t have this? Do they think that all uni have cars and just the existences of small shops are waste of time and space? Wait, oh yeah, we do have that, but it close after dark..oh never mind. Most probably they just thought about the parking space for the convocation and when that happen, the compound will occupied with oh so many  cars like during the major slavery trade from Africa.

Yes, its cruel, imagine the people inside are cars, that going to happen when big event pop-up in Brunei

Then again, I don't know the reason why they isolate us from the town or a bit far to reach another community, I'm just sayin...