Friday, July 29, 2011

Have you heard about Cett?

Yes, I do and I heard he doing just fine. Did you know he is still madly in love with his crush?

Really? How bad?

Horrible, Cett can't forget about him and he believe that his relationship with his gf was deteriorated
His gf is such a nice lady, his family know her, they were close. Still, Cett can't stop thinking about him.

Can't he think of another man? Seriously?

I don't know, Cett said that if he keep thinking about him, he will remember how he meant to him...

it's been 2 years and he is still believe that man is his fate of love?

Yup, that how he keeping his faith


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Gimme some fist bitches~

I went to offering for prayer to my late friend at my secondary school and surprisingly enough my male friends shake my hands, usually men shake hand with other man and just shove a wave with female friends. Hell, even my male junior being nice to me rather than the females.

As I sit with my female friends, I kindda feel out of place, it been a while since I socialize with my female friends and I forgot how to utter young female language (I have two brother and they don't think I'm a girl)

I reflected back, my friends and I always be 'dude' with my male friends, bro fist, bromance, talking about NSFW (that makes them misunderstand that I'm a lesbian or bi, when I say I'm not they almost hit a tree; he was driving, so yeah) I relate to what men usually interested, even tough I don't know much of it, but its good to hear. I feel more comfortable with the male species more than my bitches!

In my life, I always find it hard to talk to a girl; because they talk too much, they have cliche, subtle talking. If I say something bad it going to be a black spot for first impression, girls usually never forget and forgive. When they hold grudge, they hold to their grave and haunts people! Hell I learn that female are species that are hard to understand!

Well, I'm a girl too but I live with two brothers who tackle me down, make me a training puppet with an excuse to learn self-defense. I remember I drank my brother favourite drink and he fold my body like a contortionist and sit on my overfold body, there's more but it's too violent to share, C'est la vie~

I like meeting new people but I rather not meet with someone who not open the different idea of feminine and masculine, I have few friends who shocked to my behavior that act more manly than their boyfriends and the dudes, its either they accept it or reject the whole idea. Thankfully the dudes are open with my manly behavior (just one of few reason I will never have any boyfriend unless they are gay and fully known that I have female body). Some of the girls still trying to accept but I'm okay with that, I learn how to adapt to different people and situation, even to awkward situation....damn, I just hate awkwardness!

Thankfully I meet people I could totally relate without any awkward, most of my closed friends accept my unorthodox behavior, little judgmental is good sometimes, just a little~

Monday, July 4, 2011

It's hard you know....

Few days ago a friend of mine died, we haven't spoke since we went to MOE for scholarship issues. We still connected through facebook and saw his pictures he took in Kent, I'm glad that he was having fun there, live his life and enjoy halloween with make-up on his face. Whenever we talk on facebook there always hint of NSFW jokes, good time.

His sister told me he will be back home soon, I was excited and hoping to catch up on him soon or just stumble on each other whenever fate want us to meet.

The news of his death took hard on me, I was shock and stunned that I believe this was a fucking mistake or a dream that I'm having or some prank he up to. However it is the fact that was left in his home was his lifeless body. I was afraid to attend his funeral because I will slap his cold face and shake his body thinking he was still joking, if he want to see me cry and beg for him, he will have them! I don't care, just open your eyes and laugh at me!

After that I didn't feeling well (I'm not sick or facially sad, deep down I was a bit broken), my parent didn't saw how down I was for couple of days. I treasure my friendship and friends even if just for few minutes, even the friendship break by time, seeing them live their life is enough for me.

What I regret before he died was that I didn't have the chance say 'Welcome back'

So I say it now 'Welcome back, Qim...and here is a piece of drawing that you wanted to see and I want to show it off to you'